Recently on "God's Campus", we have experienced a dramatic increase in the number of friendly neighborhood skunks. We don't normally have a problem with other pests (I am yet to see a roach, rat, opossum, or snake), but for some unexplainable reason, skunks have made DBU their new campus of choice...I'd like to say it is their unexplainable need for salvation that draws them here...but who am I kidding, if animals were supposed to have an afterlife, skunks most certainly would not end up in heaven.
They have tried to combat our fury little friends by setting out traps and such, but believe me when I say these traps are almost worse than letting them run free and procreate. At least once a week students are expected to battle the aftermath of a skunk capture. Not even the fresh "Mountain Creek" air can wash away the sins of our skunk friends.
I guess what I'm saying is "Why skunk-friends?! Why DBU?!"
I just don't understand.